The winner doesn’t have to take it all – positive reinforcement¬†

When you are trying to change and lead yourself to a healthier life style, letting go of bad habits that give you immediate pleasure will be rough. You will continue having bad moments and then you will crave for your usual easy way out. You might get lazy and think that maybe it’s ok to skip the gym one day or that your room is not that messy (you can clean it next time you have time… Right?). Well, that kind of thought is completely normal and it is very easy to get dragged by it and let it become a snowball that will get you back where you first started.

I decided that one of my changes would be working out and getting stronger (my goal is strength, not definition, no matter my weight, no matter the size of my muscles, I just want to be able to do my everyday activities without asking for help). I had a severe weight loss and never got my muscles back, I started working out and then stopped going, had no will. Now I decided that I must start over and find the physical activities that will keep me going.

If you are having problems keeping yourself on track, like me, maybe you are lacking on motivation and if that’s what is happening, you need to remind yourself why you decided on taking this road in the first place. It is time for positive reinforcement!

Positive reinforcement is not about being bright and happy all of the time, it is about encouraging yourself rather than beating yourself up (metaphorically of for reals) because you should have known better. You can study your mistakes and your motivations, find out why you are willing to try instead of why you should not have such habits. Set some goals and celebrate them when they are reached or, if you didn’t make it, sit down and plan a new deadline for that goal.

 Failing a hundred times doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t do it. Maybe it is time you get help… If you did fail many times, maybe you need some guidance, and that’s ok! This should not be seen as a failure “good, can’t even take care of myself, need a babysitter to solve my problems”, but as a tool you will be using to help you reach your goals. It doesn’t matter what your goal is, or how many, you can always find professional help for it, or rely on family, friends or someone going through the same changes. 

When asking for help, try to find someone who will motivate you in a healthy and positive way. Having someone tell you that you are doing everything wrong, repeatedly, will not allow you to make the changes you need in a fulfilling way. 
Be strong, hang on, try your best every day, you can do it! 

Shattered glass 

Nothing could have destroyed me more than giving it a name… I had lived with that pain for so many years, and thinking it was normal made me feel like I had to bare it. It was normal. Why would you cry about something every woman feels every month?

My hormones were complicated since my first period. It came when I was 10 and I had cramps since then. When I was about 14 it got worse, and then sex became painful (yes, I was young and having sex. I had lots of hormones going on and I was horny 24/7, get over it), something that made me feel so good started scaring me. Few years later I realized that it wasn’t always painful and I made my way around it. 

And then partial freedom was gone. In November, 2015 the cramps got worse. The first time, I didn’t know what was happening to me, had no strength on my legs to walk, felt desperate to pee (I had this feeling that peeing would relieve some of the pain), but couldn’t relax my muscles enough to let the urine run down. I spent about half an hour on that toilet seat, wishing to just die and feeling nauseous. 

With time, I realized that the aliens (how I’d call my period/cramps because it felt like some creature tearing through me and pushing down and out of me) were playing good cop and bad cop, so if my period was kinda ok, I’d spent the days waiting and preparing my mind for the next critical hit. I had kidney stones and they got nothing on endometriosis cramps. I’d beg for people around me to kill me, talk to god (I don’t have a religion) and ask why couldn’t I just die there, laying on the bathroom floor, shaking and crying. 

Even after all that, I didn’t want to ask a doctor about it. When I was 16 a doctor said “yeah, you’ll feel pain during sex” and didn’t ask for any exams, so I just assumed it was 100% normal. It wasn’t until the beginning of 2017 that I went to a new doctor that suspected endometriosis from day 1. Had lots of exams and there they were: one lesion in Each ovary. 

“You have endometriosis” and then everything changed. I started on the pills two days after and didn’t feel any horrible cramping until yesterday (it’s been a month and a week). But I have cried over this more than ever. Now I read stories I can relate to, now I can feel the meds taking over my mood and specially now I feel like I have the right to cry. I feel more fragile than ever and any discomfort gets me terrified that the pain will come back from the dead. 

It is winter here (south hemisphere) and every time it gets cold before I have time to roll up into a covers burrito, I can feel it there, threatening me with the possibility of getting worse. 

Now I have a question for whoever is out there, did you feel worse after you had your diagnosis? I’m not just talking about endometriosis, I am talking about anything. Did it make you feel paper thin? I know I am still picking up the pieces, risking cutting my feet on the sharp bits.

Do you even scrub???!!!

Sorry for the violent title but I couldn’t help it. ūü§£

I have a secret recipe to share with you, so sit a little closer and make sure your door is closed…

In the last two years, I have been making my own body scrub. “But, Lili, companies spend years researching and creating products that will be balanced with your needs!!!” Well, maybe those products fit your needs and I don’t think I’ll start telling people they shouldn’t use products that they love and really helps them. My case is a little bit more complicated than that because of very common components I am allergic to, such

My case is a little bit more complicated than that because of very common components I am allergic to, such as: Triethanolamine¬†(TEA), Diethanolamine (DEA), Monoethanolamine (MEA), Latex and two others I don’t know how to spell and that are less common.
What do I use instead of store-bought products? Corn Flour. And I do not mean corn starch. Corn flour is yellow and not as silky as corn starch, in my country it is called Fubá and it gets ready to exfoliate your skin, without scratching or damaging it, in five seconds or so. Just follow the instructions below:

  1. Grab yourself any small recipient you can take in the shower with you (remember that you must be able to grab the body scrub with your fingers, I like to use small bowls or a Tupperware);
  2. Pour some corn flour in the recipient;
  3. Pour some milk in the recipient and mix.

There, you are good to go.

The final product should be soft, but thick enough for you to grab a lump of it on your fingers (I will make a video on that and put the link here ASAP). It should not be liquid and it should not be so dry that your lump of scrub will break apart and fall to pieces when you try to pick it up from the bowl.

After I make my little mix (a bit more than half a cup will be enough for me to scrub from head to toes), I hop in the shower and¬†scrub, scrub, scrub my skin until it is lightly red. My skin is quite pale, so I don’t really know how a darker tone should look after a good scrub… Please let me know, I don’t want to risk saying bullsh*t. After that, I will turn on the shower and rinse off all the small particles (kind of rubbing them off, just because) and shower as usual. I might apply some moisturizing lotion (I mix rose oil on it because my skin needs that extra care) or not, if I want to keep the milky smell and silky texture from the scrub I’ll only moisturize before going to bed.

Since the corn flour is made of small kind of rounded bits of corn, and not crystals (such as salt or sugar scrubs), it is very gentle to the skin. I have very sensitive, dry, cracking skin and this doesn’t hurt at all. I use it on my face and it does wonders. My skin will feel smoother and hydrated for about two days after that.

Using a good quality milk will provide you a more moisturizing¬†and nursing body scrub, but if you are vegan or if the fact that your body¬†scrub smells like food bothers you, you can simply use water and the flour will remove dead skin the same way. ¬†I haven’t tried this before, but I believe you could add a couple drops of any essential¬†oils you wish or apply them on your skin after showering, mixed with body lotion (as I mentioned before, I put rose oil on mine) about 2ml to each 200ml of lotion should be enough.

That is pretty much it for today, I hope you will give it a try some day and feel just as luxorious as I do when you are done.

Take some time to care for yourself and massage your feet, legs, arms, etc with the corn scrub and maybe even have your significant other do it for you and you can do the same for them.  It is relaxing and it will help to renew your skin.

I will see you around, I hope. Till the next time…